An End to Mourning; and is Suresh Enduring a Media Boycott?
I came back from the CT Book Fair to find a full in-tray. Couldn’t even deal with it before I went off to the official end-of-mourning ceremony for my aunt.
After a year of mourning, it was time for her to throw away her ugly black frock (the only one she’s worn for the entire year) and don a new outfit. I had the honour of being invited to witness the ritual of tossing the mourning clothes. Its a very private matter that shouldn’t really be discussed openly even though I did reveal a few tid bits to my cousins, much to the outrage of the elders.
I will say though, just how unfair to women this tradition is. Firstly, only women have to mourn for this long. In addition, there are a host of rules they have to adhere to during this period. They include a barrage of no-go areas, restrictions on the time she can be away from her house, the chair she sits on (she can only sit on a chair given to her by in-laws and in my aunt’s case it was a highly uncomfortable piece of stool), etc. This obviously deprives women of their right of movement and association, and for a year! It just is very cruel.
Then there’s the choice of date to perform the ceremony – it has to be in winter. Without going into too much detail, she is undressed in the open, washed and dressed in her new outfit without drying her. OK, its not in the view of everyone, but imagine being nude, in the open, in the middle of winter!
When my mother passed away early this year, my father only mourned for a month. I can’t remember him not being able to go anywhere. For him and all men of course, its business as usual, and this I don’t mean in a crude sense. I took the opportunity to spend time with him, which is always great. Also loved to see my cousins.
I came back to find an even fuller in-tray and was in time to find my sms reminder to watch the SABC interview of a very lonely figure of Ronald Suresh Roberts (RSR) in studio, discussing his book, Fit to Govern: The Native Intelligence of Thabo Mbeki, with Raenette Taljaard of the Helen Suzman Foundation. I hear that the SABC failed to secure panelists to debate the book with Suresh. The grapevine says that just about everyone asked refused.
I have a copy of the book, but havent had time to read it. But if media reports are anything to go by, it seems Suresh may have infuriated so many journalists and commentators that none were willing to engage in a discussion with him – or was it just the “boycott”, which we hear has been imposed on RSR.
Take the small report in the Sunday Times on the dismissal, by the Supreme Court, of RSR’s appeal against a judgment in which he lost the defamation suit against the paper. Contrast that to the space dedicated to the ST’s victory at the beginning of the year.
I was reminded of a rumour that was hitting the rounds early this year, that there had been a call to “boycott” Suresh. At the time, mgosi was saying there were people “breathing air into Suresh” and these were those giving him space in their newspapers or a platform. They included Ferial Haffajee of the M&G and me, for inviting him to VC Netwox.
There’s just something disconcerting about this call to boycott the views of others by denying them the space to air those views. I’m not an expert in issues of freedom of expression and speech and the like, but this turn of events, if indeed true, cannot bode well for our democracy.
